It's Magical
by ikisstheglasses
Summary: What happens when Draco discovers a wonderful charm that can make his life so much more....SEXAY? [please excuse my bad capitalization and spelling mistakes! thanx][also excuse the horrid plot it was ALLL becks idea! no blaming mee!]
1. Disovery

he had figured it out!  
  
haHA!  
  
he cackled with joy and excitement as he skipped down a long hallway on the second floor, occasionally doing that thing where the person walks on the wall and then clicks their heels, that no one else can figure out how to do.  
  
he sang a song as he skipped down the passage...  
  
draaaaaco had a little plan, little plan, little plan, draaaaaco had a little plan, which no one else yet knows...  
  
hes using it at school today, school today, school today, hes using it at school today, which is against the rules...  
  
itll make the girls all laugh and pla...  
  
his song was interupted by a brunette head being stuck out a doorway.  
  
"what are you so happy about, malfoy?" spat hermione granger.  
  
he grabbed his enemys hands and danced with joy.  
  
"i have found the secret to MAGICAL BIRTH CONTROL!  
  
hermione's eyes lit up.  
  
draco malfoy was the sex god of the school, yet who wanted to have his baby?  
  
he ran down the hallway and careened into pansy parkinson. 


	2. Hannah

"wow really? youve disdcovered magical birth control? excellent! now we can screw around whenever we want!" said pansy. "oh no." said draco, "im not goin to waste it all on you. but do you want to be the first to try it out?" pansy giglged and they went to go find a broom closet.  
  
*  
  
the next morning pansy threw draco her pregnancy tester. "all clear!" she crowed. draco cackled and hummed his song while walking to breckfast. in the great hall he noticed hannah abbot staring at him oddly. he swaggered over to her and casually asked, "wanna get it on?" they were then seen heading to the janitorial supply cabinet on the third floor. 


	3. Twins

ok getting this ALL CLEAR this was a challenge type thing / brilliant idea from my friend becks. SHE wanted me to write this so if you find it offensive or anything, go bug HER about it. her fanfic un is sexiglassesSNOG.  
  
~  
  
hannah's test from their one-afternoon-stand came back clear.  
  
he swaggered around school until he found parvati and padama patil studying in the library. he sat down at their table with a sugesstive look in his eye and said, "threesome?"  
  
the giggling twins waltzed off with the sex god to go find a private aisle in the restricted section. 


	4. EURGH Nasty Images

im trying to get this OVER WITH only two more chapters to go after this one.  
  
~  
  
draco stood in McGonagal's office. she was pacing in front of him. "so. you have discovered a magical birth control? a charm to keep women from becoming pregnant?" "yes professor" "hmmmmm" draco was worried. what would they do to him? wouldnt finding a new spell deseve a reward, not punishment? his worries were interupted by Prof. Mcgonnagal saying, "Would you consider teaching this charm to me, mr. malfoy?" draco laughed and agreed. 


	5. Hermione's EEEEvil Plan

OK LAST CHAPTER I LIED. i know you are all OH SO disapointed, but i need to go to lunch. kisses!  
  
~  
  
hermione was thinking. she was thinking about how evil draco malfoy was to discover this charm only for himself.   
  
hermione had an evil plan.   
  
that night, she snuck sleeping powder into draco's pumpkin juice and followed him after dinner. when he fell asleep standing up he hoisted him over her shoulder and carried him up to her dorm.  
  
*  
  
in the morning, draco was still zonked out. hremione took him out from under her bed, took of his clothes with a look of distaste upon he face, and put him in her bed. she said "enervate" and turned around to brush her hair. she could hear draco stirring behind her. he awoke with a yawn and then after a few moments began to scream. he had seen where he was.   
  
he was in. hermione. grangers. bed.   
  
"oh lord, oh lord, what did i do?" he began to mutter. he jumped out of the bed and threw on his clothes. "did you- did we- " "oh dont worry malfoy", hermione turned from brushing her hair, " i figured out the charm. its 'condisio', right?" "oh NO! oh no oh no oh no...a MUD BLOOD is going to have my child!" draco began running in circles. what had he created? he should have told everone about this new charm! now his child would not be PURE! he ran out of hermione's dorm and left her to crack up on her gold and red carpet.  
  
~  
  
GOOD its OVER. it was a complete waste of time, but me and becks were sick of all the fics in which someone is forced to have draco's child because he was an ass. so YAY! good girl hermi! 


	6. happy ron hermione ship fans!

hermione was very smart. everyone knew this. so she made draco tell her the birth control charm.  
  
she snickered, put on some mascara and lippy and a short skirt, and sauntered up the staircase to the boys' dormitory.  
  
"hey ron," she said. she grinned. "guess what?"  
  
"what hermione?" he said, looking appreciatively at her * very * short skirt.  
  
"draco told me how to do the magical birth charm!!!" she jumped up and down, which is not a smart thing to do when one is wearing an extremely short skirt.  
  
"WHAT? you mean you SCREWED him? a MALFOY?"  
  
"no, you silly!!! I didn't screw him!!! hahaha! I just made him tell me the charm!" she laughed at his horrorstruck expression.  
  
"oh." ron didn't have anything to say.  
  
"soOOOOooo..."  
  
hermione looked him in the eye.  
  
he grinned back.  
  
"let's shag then?"  
  
"spermicidus" hermione muttered. and the chapter ended because this story is rated PG-13. 


	7. ewwmore nastiness

severus snape was sexy. very sexy. but he did not want anyone to be forced to have his baby.  
  
besides the fact that he was very sexy, he was also in love with professor umbridge. even though she was hellishly ugly.  
  
so he gave draco a detention and forced him to tell him the birth control spell.  
  
and I refuse to tell any more of this horrible tale. at least the part involving snape and umbridge ..... ugh .... 


	8. Author NOTTEEactually author's friend's ...

Author's Note:  
  
Last 2 chappies were done by my friend. www.fanfiction.net/~sexiglassesSNOG . Go view her work. It's happy. She is writing this. Actually it's rather depressing. well, 6 out of 8 are. The End. Of this Note. 


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